Are emotions and feelings contagious?

Ever notice how one family member can feel stressed, anxious, or fearful and it’s as though the feelings were contagious, and other family members start to feel the same sort of emotion and dysregulation? Those are mirror neurons at work. Our feelings and moods are in some ways contagious! And children are just as susceptible to feeling parents or caregivers emotions and moods, as parents are susceptible to feeling our child’s dysregulation. So it’s important we stake steps to regulate our emotions and teach our children to do the same.

Lets dig in, shall we?

A quick lessons on the brain:

There are three main types of neurons in the brain, one of which being the sensory neuron that allows us to experience the outside world by utilizing our senses. This experience happens subconsciously - we don’t actively think about it. All sensory input from the outside world travels from our central nervous system to our cerebrum where it is processed rationally. However, sensory input also is processed in our amygdala which processes emotional reaction, happening slightly faster in the amygdala than in the cerebrum, which is why we have gut responses than experience rational thinking, or have emotional reactivity before we can think or act rationally. This is survival instincts 101 from our primitive days.

So when we see or are around someone who is feeling or exhibiting stressful, anxious, fearful behavior our brains trigger the same activity of the person who is actually experiencing those feelings. Our brain centers then evoke the corresponding feeling simply by observing a feeling or an action! Therefore, to answer the question, yes- emotions are contagious!

Children, who are working on their executive functioning skills well into their teens and early adulthood need help in self-regulation and response inhibition. As they develop more emotional intelligence, guiding reasoning and future behavior that are oftentimes most meaningful to changing behavior or increasing awareness of behavior - look to adults, whether it be their parents, caregivers, or teachers for examples on how to react and regulate. So it’s imperative that adults have tools in their toolkit to regulate their own emotions and feelings as to not “subject” them onto others. Similarly, when we our children are dysregulated because they are feeling anxious, stressed, or fearful, that we stay regulated by practicing regulation techniques. Happily, mirror neurons can be triggered by positive emotion and action - most notably for creating the experience of empathy. So practicing regulation techniques when someone is all in their feelings, can trigger their mirror neurons into finding equilibrium.

Ways we do this can be as simple as breathing deeply. At The Parenting Collaborative, we are big fans of “mountain breathing” that helps us to slow down, breathe deeply and relax. This is a practice that can be done anywhere, no need for any special props or to go to another room. All you need is your two hands, and your lungs. You can meditate, take a moment away from stressful situations and encounters, use your Apple Watch’s Mindfulness Breathe app - whatever it may be. We want to model and practice with our children, how to recognize when we are dysregulated, and what tools we can use that feel authentic to us, to ground and center ourselves, and calm down.

A special thanks to Child Mind Institute for reminding us to just breathe.